Marriage

Muslim-Couple-happy

I’m very sorry for the sorrow and the suffering of all abused persons..
When a spouse is abusive, it is not that easy to make him or her to stop..
P.S., Men represent 40% of the domestic abuse cases worldwide..!!

This inhumane behavior is influenced of Bad Spirits on people..
Bad Spirits (Shytan and his klan) had sworn to Allah swt to dysfunction the righteous path..
This can only happens by monopolizing of the spiritually-weak persons to cause hurt and harm to spiritually-moderate others..
The only shield is obtained by adherence to Quran and Sunnah; in terms of governing the way we live, act and respond..

Many visitors had hit the page of Muslim Wife..
Wives had complained from abusive or neglecting husbands..
I had made my intensive research and posted replies to meet each case..
Trying to fill the gap between physical and spiritual practices of Islam..
Some small deeds may look funny, but very effective, and meaningful for who knows..!

I do not recommend any intervention with the faulty spouse.. They would turn more abusive..
Just try hard the advices and the commandments, and keep repeating..
Hold strong your trust of Allah swt.. and how close He swt is to you..
Simply, He swt is however we envision Him swt.. Close or Distant.. Careful of Busy..!!

The abusive spouse needs some body whom s/he respects; to advise..
How it is import to be gentle to the family..
If a spouse is not gentle, when old-time comes, no one would serve him or her with water..
Life is all about trading values and morals..

O’ Fellow Muslim..
The third notion of creation is about lawful reproduction and raise capable generations of believers…
Those who will continue to glorify Almighty Creator; Allah swt
Those who will continue to worship and praise Allah swt for his blessings and gifts..
This is the sacredness of Marriage.. in Islamic point of view..

Then, when we die, our possessions and deeds will not shield us from the Grave-Hardship..
No one had come back to life; to tall us what Grave-Hardship is..
We have to trust the words of Allah swt and His Messenger PBUH.. on how real it is..

Each of us need a family to make sincere Dau’a and Sadaqah for mercy, after our death..
The more loving their prayers for us would be, the soft our Grave-Hardship will be..
Strangers would feel sorry for our death, yet; sooner would forget and keep their own living..
Only our spouses and family would keep remembering and praying for us..
These prayers will shower our graves with water, bright and make-wider..
Can you imagine what this means..?

No wonder how many tears fill your eyes now…
If not.. Your heart needs serious purification..!
Easy done: Gear up, make wadu and strong intention for apology and forgiveness..
Then offer couple of Rakaah with a grateful conscious heart..
This is the glorious blessed start-up..

May Allah swt bless you, your family and your loved ones..

——————————————————————–

The Carter’s; the most famous Couple..

From: Ne tuguj, Allah je s tobom

(Do not grieve, Allah is with you)

A Bosnian Facebook Group
https://www.facebook.com/adilsud#!/pages/Ne-tuguj-Allah-je-s-tobom/212584198763394?sk=wall

Marriage is an oasis in which your mental peace and happiness are the men and women, therefore it is necessary to make every effort to make this marriage oasis protect and preserve, and it will help the spouses and the tips of some psychologists and people who have tried the double Water …

First; The absence of women in a short time strengthens the marital bond, while the long absence disrupts this relationship.

Second; A man must know the nature of his wife, in order to properly understand and be referred to it in the right way.

Third; Do not let quarrels and disputes among spouses persist until the next day.

4th Not to mention the experience from previous marriages, which are related to the previous wife or husband.

5th Go through the imagination of an ideal marriage, but live in their own way and not expect the marriage supernatural miracles.

6th Use every opportunity to tell your wife that you love.

7th Always be smiling and cheerful faces, and struggles to overcome these problems and not sorrow.

8th Beware of being constantly commenting popratiš woman’s actions, whether big or small.

9th Always discuss what a small number of problems and do not let them in the evening, an attempt to solve the problem before you are out of control.

10th According to jealousy, suspicions and intrigues of the enemies refer wisely and cleverly, without any prejudice or accusation.

11th Instill security in their lives and those of his companion, be sure of himself and prove to him that you are satisfied with it.

12th It is not enough to marry the appropriate person so that you be a happy marriage, and you must be the appropriate person.

13th Cleanliness is half of faith and it is proof of love.

14th Give up some of the things that are an integral part of your personality to life through the good qualities that he enjoyed the love of his companion.

15th Takes care of the life of a loved one as you lead yourself and she wants what you want it.

16th Mutual giving and taking of gifts … Do not be a person who seeks a little more give and take all or nothing is paid.

17th A man wants his woman to be a special wife, who is behaving nicely at every opportunity, which he expresses love, watch it, and comforts, while the woman wants her husband to be a strong personality that will draw, which is able to meet its needs and it is certain that she was the last woman in his life.

18th In life, do not accuse your loved one for every problem that occurs.

19th He lives his days and not think about tomorrow’s problems have not yet occurred, and live according to their capabilities.

20th Up to you, O man, to realize the value of a good marriage, and she’s firm commitment, so think a thousand times before they bring a decision, after which a man regrets will be of benefit.

21st The marriage can not rely only on love, which is an important and indispensable factor for the preservation of marriage.

22nd In life, be a model for a loved one, let your actions speak of your personality.

23rd Do not let relatives and neighbors to intervene in your married life, but every attempt to solve the problem alone, according to their capabilities.

24th Do not rush to correcting errors of his companion, because there are certain habits to which the change takes time.

25th Marriage should be taken with all the responsibilities that entails, completely calm the heart and soul with pleasure.

26th Try to leave all that leads to differences in marriage.

27th Helps his wife in their everyday jobs, so you can come together even more.

28th Give your wife a chance to freely express their feelings, and do not make fun of her abilities.

29th Material rights must be respected and should not be lightly understood, because they are the main reason for disagreements between spouses.

30th Beware of friends that can interfere in your private life under the guise of counseling and guidance.

31st Prove to her husband that he is the right person, show him you’re proud and pleased with his personality.

32nd Set yourself the following questions in order to realized / values by their spouse and to thus successfully resolve their problems:
– What is it that captures the heart of every one of you with his spouse?
– What are the activities in which you feel pleasure?
– What does each of you in order to draw attention to your spouse?
– What do you expect from a loved one to feel that you really love?
– What are your dreams are common in the future?

33rd When mutual quarrels, beware do not use words that your husband will be angry.

34th Exchange gifts … you’ll love it … Let it be the motto in all appropriate situations (joy and happiness).

35th Clever wife is the one who chooses the appropriate time in order of her husband asked what it takes her and her children, also need to choose an appropriate time to bring attention to some of the failures of her husband, but in most cases this is not the appropriate time … therefore, think many times.

36th Not zapostavljaj wife … zapostavljaj husband does not … consultation is an important thing in a marriage … Each spouse needs to feel that it is essential in planning and life is not neglected.

37th Not running away from home when problems arise, because running away from the problem not the solution, does not matter that the man calmed down a bit, and then return to solve the problem.

38th Do not stifle her husband many questions that do not concern you and do not try to get to his secret that you do not want to reveal, in this case the husband would leave home and go to another place to rest!

39th If you’re one of those women who are employed, do not forget that the house is the greatest obligations to you, and trying to uskladiš family and business commitments.

40th Not uzrujavaj when you come to an event, husbands relatives, but are nice and welcome, welcome, because if so postupiš husband will notice it and will appreciate your efforts.

41st It’s nice to refer to the mother and oslovljavaj the most beautiful names of loved ones, according to custom, and do not quarrel with her, in her presence mention of her husband just as good.

42nd Constant divergence of opinion leads to divergence of the heart, used to support the opinion of her husband even though he did not agree with him … obey the husband in what is good.

43rd Calmness that her husband needed in the home can be achieved by making you calm down children, giving them signing to play dice, drawing, etc.

44th Your kids are a great boon, because they do not do it accidentally neglecting their education … let it be more important than everything.

45th Be a helper to her husband in worship … asks the world as such are looking for this world.

46th Extravagance disrupts married life, destroys the blessings of Allah, and Allah does not like the spendthrift.

47th Have a happy marriage does not have a life without problems, rather it means the ability to solve these problems, so as not to influence the relationship between you and your husband.

48th Well be careful not to svađaš with her husband in the presence of children, do not raise their voice when they are there, first because children learn from example and imitation, then all problems are etched into their consciousness, which can have serious consequences for the child.

49th Read about the development and treatment of children, in order to relate to them better, leaving what may be a bad influence on their development.

50th Do not allow anyone to interfere in your married life … Do not recite your secret relatives or friends.

Comments
  1. adilsud says:

    Yes, many of what he says is true, yet, something is missing
    This is what puts the new generations off from the religious calls
    The whole thing is much simpler..
    1. You are already a stable practicing Muslim
    2. You are a qualified to have a loving partner
    3. You naturally seek love and ought to have a partner
    4. If all above are in place, you will be divinely guided towards what to do and what not to do..

    If having a room in my heart, I’d personally celebrate Valentine…!!

    Like

  2. adilsud says:

    رأى الناس أبى الثائب المخزومى – أحد القراء الصلحاء _ متعلقا بأستار الكعبة و كان من العباد الزهاد الكبار ، كان يصلى كما روى عنه فى اليوم و الليلة ألف ركعة مثل زين العابدين
    رؤى متعلقا بأستار الكعبة و هو يقول اللهم ارحم العاشقين و عطف عليهم قلوب المعشوقين
    قيل له يا أبا الثائب أتقول ذلك و أنت من أنت *أنت العابد الزاهد* كأنه لا يتناسب ذكر الحب مع العالم العابد
    فقال والله لدعائى لهم أفضل عندى من عمرة ( لأن نفع الآخرين فى العمل و الأجر أعلى دائما من النفع الخاص بالإنسان) .

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  3. adilsud says:

    8 essential points new Muslimahs must consider before marriage
    Theresa Corbin.

    Since moving too quickly from conversion to marriage without adequate preparations can mean trouble, check off this list first.

    From saying the shahada to “I do”, brand-new Muslimahs often jump into a marriage contract before they know much about Islam, or who they are as Muslims. While this may work out for some, for others it can spell disaster down the road as the new convert establishes herself in her new faith.

    Everyone’s situation is different. Some new Muslim women find great partners that strengthen them in their new faith and help them adjust to their new path. Others find that they have married too soon, and to someone who is not overtly religious. And still others find that their union is not at all that they had in mind.

    As the new Muslimah considers marriage, she should arm herself with knowledge of Islam, knowledge of herself and what she wants for her future. Before she plans a honeymoon filled with bliss, or picks out the perfect wedding dress, the new Muslimah should consider the following:

    1. Marriage contract

    This is something that many women who marry soon after converting are unaware of. In an Islamic marriage, the wife-to-be has the right to add as many stipulations in a contract. The husband-to-be must agree to these conditions and follow them, or the marriage is considered invalid.

    The Islamic marriage contract is a kind of prenuptial agreement that protects the woman’s interests. If any of what follows in this article strikes you as important to add to your marriage contract, by all means do so.

    2. Citizenship

    Many sisters have been down this tragic path. The story goes: woman converts to Islam, falls in love with or receives a proposal of marriage from a man whose sole intention is to obtain citizenship in her country. As soon as his citizenship status is established, he leaves – sometimes even taking children and whatever wealth or property she has.

    It is an unpleasant thought, but you must be aware that it happens – and frequently. When you are presented with a marriage prospect with someone who is not a citizen and wishes to move to and stay in your home country, be wary. Your best line of defence if you are considering marrying a man without even a visa would be to stipulate that he must obtain a visa through an employer and not you.

    3. Where to live

    The other side of the citizenship coin is that many new Muslimahs marry men who refuse to live in their new bride’s native land. If your prospective suitor wants you to live with him in his country, you need to understand what that entails. Will you be able to adjust? What comforts will you be leaving behind?

    It will help to research the country in question. You may consider visiting expat lifestyle websites, on which people from your native country or region discuss their experiences of moving to and living in their new country.

    4. Future ambitions

    Understanding what your partner expects for the future is vital. Will he want you to be a housewife but you plan to go back to school and get a master’s degree? Does he want you to go to med school and put off having children when all you ever dreamed of was being a stay-at-home mom?

    Will your husband be your biggest cheerleader, or will he be an obstacle? These are questions you should consider. The answers might help you avoid a lot of tough decisions and heartbreak down the road.

    5. Spousal expectations

    While you are on the topic of what you want for the future (number 4), gauge your suitor’s expectations on household matters, romance and any other issues that are important to you. Will either one of you be primarily in charge of domestic matters, or will you both prefer to negotiate duties? If and when you have children or pets, will the division of labour at home remain the same or change?

    What do you expect from each other on the romantic front? Will you have regular movie and dinner dates? Do you expect gifts on special occasions? Are you able to talk about intimacy with each other and communicate your desires and preferences?

    6. Level of faith

    Many Muslims do their best to please Allah in all of their actions; yet some are perhaps Muslim only in name. As a new convert the distinction may not seem clear, but it is a big one.

    As you come to learn about your new faith, you may become disenchanted with your husband’s lack of adherence to Islam. While you will have the opportunity to encourage your partner to become better, any decision to change will ultimately rest with him.

    Ask your prospective husband if he prays five times a day every day, if he fasts during Ramadan and then some, if he gives in charity and his tithe, if he has made or intends on making hajj (with you hopefully!). And ask him if he is willing to teach you and to learn with you (no one knows it all).

    7. Culture clash

    Learn about the cultural expectations of the family you are about to enter. More likely than not, if you marry someone from outside of your culture, you may be pressured to assimilate. Some brides are okay with this; others aren’t willing to assume what they see as a second identity.

    Every family is different. Talk to your husband to-be about what is expected within his cultural tradition. And ask if he or his family will expect you to follow these practices.

    8. Polygamy

    While Muslim men are able to marry up to four women, this does not mean that you have to be a part of a polygamous relationship if you are not comfortable with it. Ask your prospective husband if he is already married or intends to marry more women down the road.

    If he is married or intends to marry again, and you are not okay with that, move on. If you are cool with being one of two, three or four wives, then that is up to you. However, if you live in a country where polygamy is illegal, do not agree to break the law. Polygamy is an option, not a requirement. We must follow the laws of the land in which we live.

    Just like saying the shahada, saying “I do” is a life-changing decision. Marriage to the right person can make life more meaningful, more exciting and much more fun. So be sure you pick the right person by being straightforward and making sure both of your expectations are in the open.

    http://www.aquila-style.com/converts-corner/new-muslimahs-marriage/79579/

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  4. adilsud says:

    Dr. Ali Gomaa

    جاء رجل إلى عمر بن الخطاب – رضي الله عنه – يشكو إليه عقوق ابنه ،
    فأحضر عمر الولد وابنه وأنّبه على عقوقه لأبيه ، ونسيانه لحقوقه

    فقال الولد : يا أمير المؤمنين أليس للولد حقوق على أبيه ؟
    قال : بلى ،
    قال : فما هي يا أمير المؤمنين ؟
    قال عمر : أن ينتقي أمه ، ويحسن أسمه ، ويعلمه الكتاب ( أي القرآن )

    قال الولد : يا أمير المؤمنين إن أبي لم يفعل شيئاً من ذلك ،
    أما أمي فإنها ونجية كانت لمجوسي ،
    وقد سماني جُعلاً ( أي خنفساء ) ،
    ولم يعلمني من الكتاب حرفاً واحداً

    فالتفت عمر إلى الرجل وقال له
    جئت إلي تشكو عقوق ابنك ، وقد عققته قبل أن يعقك ، وأسأت إليه قبل أن يسيء إليك

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  5. adilsud says:

    Dr. Ali Gomaa

    ذكر الخطيب الشربينى رأى الإمام الشافعى رحمه الله فى كتاب مغنى المحتاج للخطيب الشربيني ، ص126 ، ط مصطفى الحلبى
    أن فى عصر الفتن لا يتزوج ، وإن كان لابد فليتزوج من صغيرة أو آيِسة (لا تنجب) ، وعلل ذلك بخوف الفتنة على الولد

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  6. adilsud says:

    Dr. Ali Gomaa

    نحن الآن غثاء كغثاء السيل وهذا لا يرضى سيدنا رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ، وهذا ليس محل التباهى الموجود فى الحديث الشريف (تناكحوا تناسلوا فإني مُباهٍ بكم الأمم يوم القيامة)

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  7. adilsud says:

    Dr. Ali Gomaa

    جمهور الفقهاء إن تعقيم الإنسان محرم شرعاً؛ إذا لم تدع إليه الضرورة , وذلك لما فيه من تعطيل الانسال المؤدي إلى إهدار ضرورة المحافظة على النسل , وهي إحدى الضرورات الخمس التي جعلها الإسلام من مقاصده الأساسية في تشريع أحكامه. أما إذا وجدت ضرورة داعية لتعقيم الإنسان, والدواء؛ جاز لمن تأكدت حالته المرضية بالطرق العلمية؛ أن يلجأ إلى التعقيم المؤقت؛ لدفع الضرر القائم فعلاً, ونعني بإباحة التعقيم المؤقت أن يمكن رفع هذا التعقيم واستمرار الصالحية للإنجاب متى زال المرض.
    أما وقف الصالحية للإنجاب نهائياً فإنه يحرم شراعاً؛ إلا لضرورة , كأن يخشى على حياة الزوجة إذا تم الحمل مستقبلاً , أو خشي من فساد عضو من أعضائها, أو من ضياع منفعته , أو من انتقال مرض مهلك إلى الجنين , والذي يحكم بذلك هو الطبيب الثقة.

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  8. adilsud says:

    Eyes wide shut: Positions on sex

    By Lina Lewis

    Although many Muslim communities find it difficult to talk about sex, there are some surprising opinions about different sexual acts in Islam.

    When God created desire, He made it into 10 parts and gave nine to women and the remaining one to men – at least that’s what Ali reportedly said. So, according to the author of Love in a Headscarf Shelina Janmohamed, it is no wonder that women are ahead than men when it comes to understanding sexuality.[i]

    Growing up as an Asian Muslim girl, I did not receive any sort of sex education from my parents, none of that birds-and-bees talk.

    In school, invited guests talked to us about the reproductive system and showed us a video on childbirth (I still believe the gory video was to put us girls off unwanted pregnancy).

    In Islamic religious classes, sex education was unheard of. All the teachers drilled into our heads was “sex=bad”. Sex was something for a married couple and since we were mere students, we had no reason to get curious about it. The topic of sex remained taboo, right up to the last day of these lessons.

    So how I learned about sex was through books (practical books that were illustrated with clinical-looking images that were not exciting in any way), and adventurous and “advanced” friends. Internet wasn’t easily accessible back then and in a country where smut is banned, I never saw “magazines for men” either.

    But because the topic of sex is such a taboo, it was years before I finally found out about the guidelines for sex in Islam. Here are some of the interesting guidelines listed by prominent North American Islamic scholarAhmad Kutty.

    1.What happens in the bedroom, stays in the bedroom. Couples cannot divulge their sexual exploits to anyone else and must keep everything strictly confidential between themselves. This, in one fell swoop, strikes out any sexual act involving more than two people.

    2.Touch anywhere but the anus and do not inflict pain. So, no anal sex and none of that bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism – play nice.

    3.It is haram to think of another man/woman while have sex with your spouse. According to Imam Maliki, fantasising sex with another person while carrying out the actions with your wife constitute a kind of zina, or adultery – which is haram. He compared it to drinking a tankard filled with water while pretending and imagining that the water is alcohol – the water becomes haram

    But there’s another school of thought says since there is no physical zina committed, there’s nothing wrong with a little bit of fantasy to inject some excitement into a married couple’s sex life. This is based on a hadith that differentiates between thoughts and actions.[ii]

    Another interesting guideline I read was that a man is obliged to have sex with his wife whenever she wants it (as long as it does not fall during a time when sex is not permissible, such as during the day in the month of Ramadan). In fact, according to Islamic Marriage, a marriage handbook by Syed Athar Husain Rizvi, husband should have sex with his wife at least once in four months unless there’s a valid reason not to or if she waives her rights.

    For a comprehensive read on sharia-compliant sex, I must say I found the Islamic Guide to Sexual Relations by Mufti Muhammad Ibn Adam Al-Kawthari very informative. It discusses everything from foreplay to sexual positions. The Mufti is also the author of Birth Control and Abortion in Islam.

    So, how about masturbation?

    I remember a Muslim Afghan boy I met while working in Belgium. In a moment of mischievous curiosity, my friends and I asked him if he thought masturbation was alright. The boy looked at us in horror and said, “No, it’ll make you blind!”

    Of course, we burst out laughing, but it made me curious at the same time. After some research, I learned that most scholars of jurisprudence thought it forbidden, with the exception of Imam Hanafi, who believed that the act becomes permissible if the person is unmarried and he/she fears that without the release, he/she would be driven to commit zina. In short, it’s about picking the less of two evils. However, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) reportedly said that marriage was best, though fasting was possible to reduce sexual desire.[iii]

    As Malaysia’s Mufti Datuk Dr Asri Zainul Abidin once said, “Islam is not a nonsensical and troublesome religion”. Although he was speaking in reference to another issue, I find that this statement rings true. Islam is not intended to make our lives difficult – it is there to put in place guidelines in a bid to nip possible undesirable outcomes in the bud.

    [i] Shelina Janmohamed, ‘What Muslim women really want in the bedroom’, The Telegraph, 2 May 2013, available here
    [ii] Narrated by Abu Huraira, in Ibn Majah, available here
    [iii] Narrated by Abdullah, in Bukhari, available here

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  9. vimlesh0 says:

    Thanks for sharing the famous stories about it. I enjoyed reading as well as learned too.
    muslim marriage solutions

    Like

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