Muslim Wife

 

By: kashmirigirl 

 

Senior Member; Sep 29, 1998

 

http://www.paklinks.com/gs/religion-and-scripture/38648-the-characteristics-of-a-good-wife.html

The Prophet PBUH said, what translated means “This life is a joy and its best joy is a good wife” [Muslim], also, “A women is married for four reasons: for her wealth, for her fame, for her beauty and for her (adherence to) religion. So marry one for her religion and you will win” [Bukbari & Muslim] and, “Four are causes of happiness,: A good wife, a big house, a good neighbor and a good way of transportation” [Al-Hakim].

The above Hadiths emphasize the importance of marrying a good Muslim woman. This is why Muslim men should always seek such women to be happy in this life. Following are some of the characteristics of a good wife:

1. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands) and guard in the husband’s absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their honor, husband’s property, etc). [4:34]. Ibn Katheer said, “Ibn Abbas said, ‘The righteous women are obedient to their husbands (Qanitaat). Also ibn Katheer said, “Imam Suddi said, ‘They (good wives) protect their husbands’ honor and money in their absence.”‘

2. Ibn Hibban narrated that the Prophet PBUH said, what translated means, “If a woman prayed the five prayers, fasted in Ramadhan, protected her honor and obeyed her husband; then she will be told (on the Day of Judgment): enter Paradise from any of its (eight) doors.

3. The Prophet PBUH said, what translated means, “Your women who will enter Paradise are those nice to their husbands, who bear children, and those who keep checking the needs of their husbands. If her husband gets angry with her, she would hold his hand and say : “By Allah, I will not sleep until you forgive me” [as-Silsilah as-Sahiha]

4. -an-Nasa’i narrated that the Prophet PBUH was asked, “Who are the best of women?” HE said, “The one who pleases him (her husband) if he looks at her, obeys him if he orders (her) and does not subject her honor or money to what he dislikes.”

From the above Hadiths, we can sum up the characterisitcs of a good wife:

1–She is a good Muslim, obedient to Allah and His Messenger PBUH .
2–She performs the five regular prayers and fasts Ramadhan.
3–She is obedient to her husband, unless he orders her to do evil.
4–She protects her husband’s money and honor in his absence.
5–She is always nice to her husband, checking on his needs.
6–She always tries to please and calm him if he is angry or upset.
7–She bears his children and does not ask him for divorce for no reason.
8–She tries to always look and smell nice for her spouse.

Advice for Women

Following is an advice to every Muslim woman that contains matters to avoid in order to have a good marriage.

1 — Avoid angering your husband. The Prophet PBUH mentioned that among the three that Allah does not accept their prayer are, “A wife who goes to sleep while her husband is angry with her.” [At-Tirmithi].

2 — Avoid harming your husband in any way, “If a woman harms (in any way) her husband, then his wife in Paradise tells her: ‘Do not harm him, may Allah fight you, he is only staying temporarily with you. Soon he will come to us.’ [Ahmad & At-Tirmithi].

3 — Avoid being unappreciative or unthankful to your husband, “Allah does not look to the woman who does not appreciate her husband while she cannot stand his departing her.” [An-Nasaii].

4 – Do not ask your husband for divorce for no reason. The Prophet PBUH warned women who ask for divorce for no sound reason in his Hadith, “Any woman who asks her husband for divorce for no reason will not smell the fragrance of Paradise. [Sahih Al-Jamii].

5 — Do not obey your husband if he asks you to do prohibited matters, “Do not disobey the Creator to obey any human.”[Ahmad & Al-Hakim].

6 — Avoid voluntary fasting without your husband’s permission, unless he is absent, “A woman does (must) not fast while her husband is present without his permission, except in Ramadhan.” [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]. This Hadith emphasizes the importance of the wife satisfying her husbands sexual needs. If the husband agrees, then the wife can do volunteer fasting, satisfied that she fulfilled her obligation towards ber husband.

7 — It is a major sin to deny your husband sexual pleasure. The Prophet PBUH said, what translated means, “If a man calls his wife to bed and she refuses till he slept while angry, then the Angles will curse her till the morning.” [Muslim]. Muslim men have no other means to satisfy them but through Their wives. Therefore, the very essence of marriage will be destroyed if men are denied this right by their wives.

8 – It is a major sin for husbands and wives to tell others what they do in bed. The Prophet described the ones who do that as, “A devil who meets a fe ale devil and has intercourse with her in public” [Ahmad].

9 — The Prophet PBUH ordered every Muslim woman not to let anyone into their houses, “Unless he (her husband) gives her
permission.” [Al-Bukhari].

10 — Muslim women do not have the habit of going in and out of their houses without necessity. Allah SWT said, what translated means, “And stay in your houses” [33:33].

A Final Word

The Prophet PBUH said, what translated means “All of my nation (Ummah) will enter Paradise except those who refuse.” When he was asked to identify those who refuse, he said, “Whoever obeys me will enter Paradise, and whoever disobeys me will (be the one who) refuse.” [Al-Bukhari]. A good, righteous Muslim woman seeks the pleasure of Allah more than anything else. She tries her best to acquire the qualities of a good wife, found in the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger PBUH. Total obedience to Allah and adherence to the Sunnah of His MessengerPBUH, is the most important of those qualities.
Allah has decreed that the husband is the head of the Muslim family, “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means.” [4:34].

Ibn Katheer said, “The man is the woman’s protector, supervisor and head of the family”. To emphasize this even more, the Prophet PBUH said, what translated means, “If I were to order anyone to bow down (make Sujood) to other than Allah, I would order the wife to do so for her husband. By the One Who owns the soul of Mohammad, if a wife does not fulfill her obligations towards her husband, then she will not have fulfilled her obligations towards Allah.” [Ahmad].

Ibn Taimiyah said in AI-Fatawa, “The righteous woman is the one who consistently obeys her husband. Her obligation to her husband come second only after her obligation to Allah.”

Therefore, every Muslim woman should seek to attain, in herself, the qualities of a good wife, by obeying Allah SWT and His Prophet PBUH, a path that will lead to entering paradise. Also, if Muslim wives implement these qualities, then their marriage will be full of happiness. The best of advice to every Muslim woman is to avoid the ways of the Kuffar. The Kuffar do not build their families on religion, but on their desires. They ignore the basic differences between men and women and treat them as equals in every regard. In Islam, men and women have different roles. More duties are assigned to men, while woman have more influence in the way their children are raised. A Muslim woman spends much more time with the children than her husband does. If families are not built on the way that Allah SWT ordained, then misery, and later, divorce, will be the result.

Allah will bless such a marriage where both the husband and the wife obey Him and fulfill their obligations towards each other. He said, what translated means, “It is not for a believer man or woman, when Allah and His Messenger PBUH have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their decivion. And whoever disobeys Allah and His MessengerPBUH, he has indeed strayed in a lain error!” [33:36].

Khadeejah, the wife of the Prophet PBUH, ranked high among the Muslim women of all time, This was a result of her unwavering support of her best of husbands. She believed in him, offered him emotional and financial support, and reassured him in times of worry. Allah SWT has granted her Paradise for this crucial role she played in the life of the Prophet, and hence, in the life of every Muslim. The Prophet PBUH treasured her memory and kept relations with her friends long after her death. Allah has granted her the position of being the mother of all the decedents of the Prophet of Allah SWT. All Muslim women should benefit from the example of Khadeejah, that they may reach her status among the righteous women in Paradise.

The Various Interpretations:

Sahih International: Evil words are for evil men, and evil men are [subjected] to evil words. And good words are for good men, and good men are [an object] of good words. Those [good people] are declared innocent of what the slanderers say. For them is forgiveness and noble provision.

Pickthall: Vile women are for vile men, and vile men for vile women. Good women are for good men, and good men for good women; such are innocent of that which people say: For them is pardon and a bountiful provision.

Yusuf Ali: Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women impure and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity: these are not affected by what people say: for them there is forgiveness, and a provision honourable.

Shakir: Bad women are for bad men and bad men are for bad women. Good women are for good men and good men are for good women

Muhammad Sarwar: Indecent woman are for indecent men and indecent men are for indecent woman. Decent women are for decent men and decent men are for decent women. The decent people are innocent of what people allege. They will receive mercy and honorable sustenance.

Mohsin Khan: Bad statements are for bad people (or bad women for bad men) and bad people for bad statements (or bad men for bad women). Good statements are for good people (or good women for good men) and good people for good statements (or good men for good women), such (good people) are innocent of (each and every) bad statement which they say, for them is Forgiveness, and Rizqun Karim (generous provision i.e.Paradise).

Arberry: Corrupt women for corrupt men, and corrupt men for corrupt women; good women for good men, and good men for good women — these are declared quit of what they say; theirs shall be forgiveness and generous provision.

17 Responses to “Muslim Wife”

  1. shaik Says:

    yestarday i faught with my wife i angered on she too shown angry shaitan created huge fight finally i said i will go out she said no stay here only..after that i cried lot and she also cried then i said shaitan creating problem i will go out she said if u go i will die..she created one plan also to die…i dont know why she thinked like that then i said sorry she also said sorry finally problem solved but i want to know why for small things she decided to die….i got marry one month and half month back only pls suggest me what o do to take this thoughts from her i am 100 islam follower she also good girl but she will behave differently when we fight…

    Like this

    • Raqeeb Says:

      Dear friend, may Allah continue to give you since of reasoning, firstly i an happy you have a wife who loves you, as you just got married, she’ll always want to see you around her, I want you to know that both of you are from different families with different background, idea, upbringing, so it’ll be a little bit difficult to adjust to each other way of life, but it just a matter of time. as for you, always tell her year u love her, now you are everything to her, husband, brother, father, companion, so she want to see everything she want in you. now that you’re married, spend more time with her than your friends. May the peace of Allah be upon your home.

      Like this

  2. Rose Says:

    What to do when husband constantly threatening to leave. Abusive, physically and verbally. Does not like me being praised by others. Always wants to find faults in me. Tells me I am ugly, useless, lazy, fat, stupid etc.. What I believe I am is a practising Muslim with three beautiful daughters and a son, who study hard and get top marks at school are always clean neat and tidy and treat everyone with respect. We’re am I going wrong?

    Like this

  3. Bradley Speck Says:

    I had a problem with my boyfriend six months ago,which lead to us apart.
    When he broke up with me,I was no longer myself,I fill so empty inside
    sorry.Until a friend of mine told me about one of her spells that helped in
    same problem too. i email the spells and I told him my problem
    and I did what he asked me to briefly make. the long story Before I knew it
    what happened,not 48 hours,my friend gave me a call and he
    come back to me and told me he was sorry about what was going to happen, I’m so
    grateful to these spells and will not stop publishing his name on the internet
    just for the good work he has doing.If you need his help,you can email him,he can cast any spell of your choice at
    and he will also help you to
    I will be forever grateful to you.

    Like this

    • adilsud Says:

      Dear One;
      Casting spells is not Islamic, nor cultured as well..
      Casting spells is either forcing people against their independent will.. or divert their attentions to elements they had missed..
      In both; it may granted the actions to follow the desires of the performer rather than the subject another..
      I had removed the contacts of your advisor, yet who would be interested would contact you directly..

      Like this

  4. Mia Says:

    In above you mentioned that Prophet (S.A.W) said among your women that will go to heaven are those who are…, bear children and…

    So u mean to say that women who don’t bear children won’t go to heaven?

    Like this

    • adilsud Says:

      Dear Mia;
      Salaam Allah..
      Thanks a lot for your comment..
      Despite the fact that the entire article was not mine; but copied with the link is provided.. However, I read it as various conditions, not details of a single condition..
      This comes within the fact that there are five matters, which a human being has no say or control of: Birth, Death, Marriage, Children and Earnings (Rizq)
      None of us determines any birth; his own or others..
      None of us determines his own (natural) death or others..
      None of us determines whom s/he will eventually marries..
      None of us determines having kids or not..
      None of us determines the context of earnings or Rizq..
      These all are already proven facts of life..
      How many notable Muslim pious women were not mothers.. Starting with Sayedah Aisha PBUH..
      Anyways, the sole conditions for Heaven is faithfully believing and sincerely worshiping Allah swt..
      Similarly, Heaven has various ranks whereas each is conditioned with particular criteria.. following a rule of rewarding as per eligibilities..
      May Allah swt reward you with the highest rank of Heaven.. Ameen

      Like this

  5. Fred Says:

    I love islam

    Like this

  6. Don Says:

    Some very interesting thoughts. Do you think all religions can co-exist in peace in a NUCLEAR AGE???

    Like this

    • adilsud Says:

      Religions are routes towards the sought Al-Mighty Creator.. Co-existence among religion is to agree on principle of creation, yet disagree on details.. Nuclear Age is just another phase of our Humane Civilization..
      Linking all would suggest that maturity of religious belief would enable reconciliation among religion to turn the Nuclear powers into progressive tool for sustainable civilization..
      On the contrary; immaturity creates fanatics and radicalism; which deforms the concept of Almighty Creator, and accelerate disagreements into hatred and armed fights, using the Nuclear powers to eliminate the human civilization.. and race..!!

      Like this

  7. Taofikah bint sidiq Says:

    May Allah be with you,I pray that this tips and knowledge you share sinks in our hearts as we are reading to learn and I pray that Allah accept ur act as ibadah for the prophet said”we should share our physical and mental ideas”Alhamdulillah wa jazakhallahu kahyran.ma salam

    Like this

    • adilsud Says:

      Salaam Allah.. Ramadhan Kareem..

      Thank you dear sister for the compliment and dauaa.. May Allah swt bliss us in these blessed times.. Ameen

      Like this

  8. vimlesh0 Says:

    Thanks for sharing the famous stories about it. I enjoyed reading as well as learned too.
    muslim marriage solutions

    Like this

  9. adilsud Says:

    Qualities of a Good Muslim Wife
    http://islamicvoice.com/january.99/women.htm

    From the viewpoint of Islam, a good wife is considered to be the best thing in the world. This accords her a special position, and places responsibility on the husband to treat her according to this elevated position. The role of the wife in the marriage is extremely important, indeed it is the decisive factor.

    Wives must do their best to keep their husbands pleased with them. The ideal wife combines in herself three merits; she pleases her husband when he sees her, by taking care to appear beautiful before him; she obeys him when he gives a command; she does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property.

    To refuse to go with her husband when he calls her to bed is a grave mistake that a wife must avoid.

    When a wife intends to fast voluntarily, she may do so only with her husband’s permission. If she does not receive his permission, then he has the right to make her break her fast when she is observing it. The reason for this is that he might wish to exercise his conjugal rights with her, which he cannot do if she is fasting with his permission.

    It is a wife’s duty not to allow anyone, that her husband does not want, to enter the house without his permission. She may not give anything away of her husband’s property without his permission. She should avoid asking a husband for extra money, or for that which he does not possess and cannot provide, and she should show gratitude for whatever is given.

    A good wife is one who is true to her husband’s word if he adjures her to do something. On a husband’s return home, a wife should receive him kindly and meet him with a good and beautiful appearance. She should try not to neglect her husband’s needs nor ignore his demands. The more a wife takes care of her husband, the more she will be loved. Most husbands consider their wives care of them as an expression of their love.

    A wife should discuss family problems with her husband to alleviate any later problems or misunderstandings. It is for her to hold her husband’s close relatives in respect and treat them kindly, which is a mark of respect and honour for the husband.

    Leaving the house frequently is a bad habit for a woman. She should also not leave the house if her husband objects to her doing so. She does not have the right to lend anything of her husband’s property against his wishes. However, she can lend from her own property.

    If a husband’s friends enquire about him, a wife should answer them but without indulging in lengthy conversation. Too many arguments and disputes with a husband, heaping abuse on him, leads, in fact, to hatred and deterioration of the relationship. Taking care of the house and running the household are the wife’s responsibility.

    If the husband gives his wife permission to go out to work, this should not be seen as a licence to equality. In fact, the issue of also producing income to the households is something which might later act as a dividing factor between husband and wife. If the wife works outside the house, her income is entirely hers to do with, as she pleases. Her husband has no right over it. If she prefers not to work, she must be satisfied with the level of comforts her husband can provide on his income and not pose unreasonable demands on him.

    A wife may not give alms from her husband’s property without his permission. Speaking to or telling others about sexual matters between a husband and wife is a grave sin in Islam. This applies to both parties. She should not be afraid to express her love and affection for her husband. It will please him and bind him closer to the family; Moreover, if he does not find an attractive, loving woman at home, he may be driven for solace elsewhere, outside the home.

    Leadership in the family is given to the husband. For the wife to demand complete and full equality with her husband will result in having two masters in the family and this does not exist in Islam. However, the husband should not behave in an autocratic manner and misuse his position. He should display love and affection and treat his wife as a partner in life. Marriage is a partnership of love, trust and mutual respect between two people. Its foundations are solidly established by Islam and exists as a sanctified castle, so to speak.

    We have listed here the many and varied duties and acts of commission as well as omission by the wife. This does not imply that the husband has no reciprocal duties and obligations. On the contrary, his function within the marriage bond is equally important. However, one should bear in mind that marriage means understanding and behaving tenderly towards one’s partner. It is a partnership of give and take. (Courtesy Islamic Future)

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    • Nadia Says:

      Thank you so much for this. I have gone to so many other sites detailing the rights a man has over his wive, and her obligations to him, but never mentioning the fact that marriage itself is a partnership based on trust and the love of Allah. All those other sites I looked at forgot to mention the obligations a man must fulfil for his wive. There was never any mention of what a man must do to please his wive, and in return, to please Allah and to be saved from the fires of hell. They made marriage sound like something to be avoided because there are so many things a woman can to do displease her husband, and which can send her into the fires of hell. That the same is true for men is not usually mentioned. So thank you for mentioning that marriage is a partnership based on mutual trust and respect.

      Like this

  10. adilsud Says:

    How to Preserve the Muslim Family
    http://islamicvoice.com/january.99/women.htm

    Muslim families are at the crossroads today. The Western model is not a suitable pattern for the family life. Its style of family life has resulted in conjugal infidelity, large scale marriage breakdown, high rates of divorces, separations, broken homes, alcoholism, drug addiction, libertinism and the like.

    Those who blindly mimic Western model, exploit their women to such an extent that the latter are made mere sex objectives. The only solution to the Muslim family’s predicament is maintenance of Islamic family values. Islam builds the family on solid grounds, which are capable of providing continuity, security, mutual love and intimacy.

    With a view to making the foundations of the family strong and natural, Islam not only recognizes but also lays emphasis on marriage, which is a wholesome pattern of lawful intimacy harmoniously blended with decency, morality and gratification.

    Marriage and the family are the focal point in the Islamic system. There are many verses in the Qur’an and many statements of the Prophet (Pbuh), which declare marriage to be a moral safeguard and a religio-social commitment. For example, in the Surah Nissa, Allah calls upon mankind to be dutiful to Him, who created them from it, created its mate and from the two of them scattered abroad many men and women.

    The Qur’an says that Allah has created for you from among yourselves mates to seek mutual love and mercy. The Noble Prophet (Pbuh) is reported to have said: “Marriage is my Sunnah; who so violates my Sunnah is not one among us.”

    The aim of the Muslim family must be worship of Allah, as marriage is considered to be yet another form of Ibadah. If the aim of the family is carnal satisfaction or worldly gains, then the family institution fails miserably.

    The responsibility of the family does not revolve solely on the husband or the wife or on children or grand-children. It is a collective responsibility on all of them together and even beyond that to the previous generation of grand-parents.

    A family can be a Muslim family, only if parents behave correctly and follow the Sunnah. If they do not live in accordance with the Sunnah, they have no right to hope or expect their children to be good Muslims. As you sow, so you reap.

    Cultivation of Islamic values is essential in a Muslim family and they should not only be cultivated but also nurtured. Our likes and dislikes, our conception of nice and vulgar, good and neat and chaotic, etc., must be in conformity with the Sunnah, for the Prophet (Pbuh) is reported to have said: “The one among you does not believe unless his own desires and likings are in conformity with what I have brought.” Remember this applies to personal habits, dress, food manners, etc.,

    For the preservation and maintenance of the Muslim family there must be instilled in its members a strong sense of belonging to the Muslim Ummah. The family is not an individual entity; it is a social aspect and so must be strengthened.

    A Muslim family must socialize with other Muslim families. Parents must, no doubt, avoid corrupt people and refrain from socializing in sick environment and also see to it that their children avoid corrupt people and refrain from socializing in sick environments.

    At the same time, they must provide better alternatives and there can be no better alternative then befriending good Muslims, especially Ulemas.

    These are some ways of promoting and preserving the Muslim family. In conclusion, I fervently appeal to my fellow-religionists to remain continuously conscious and creative about the Islamic aspects. Educated Muslims must apply the Islamic concepts; “think”, contemplate”, “look”, “realize”, “know”, “become wise”, “reason”, etc., on the Muslim society, and help in transformation of the Qur’anic and Prophetic concepts of the family into our daily life.

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